What makes you strong is not persistence, but letting go.

Mr. Qigong, a famous calligrapher and painter, once wrote the following words: self-respect is power, and there is a certain limit when you know it.

In a colorful world, it is not easy to have a ruler in your heart and a stop in your actions.

Knowing how to stop is not only a kind of wisdom, but also a very high Eq.

01

Stop language

"Xingshi Hengyan" said: "the tongue is the foundation of interests, and the mouth is the door of misfortune and happiness."

Sometimes, after a moment of mouth addiction, it also lays a curse for yourself.

Liu Yuxi, a 21-year-old middle Jinshi, was a successful young man, but he was ruined in a mouth.

Liu Yuxi's innovation was appreciated by Tang Shunzong. Unexpectedly, soon after he ascended the throne, Shunzong suffered a stroke and gave way to Prince Li Chun.

The backer fell, and Liu Yuxi was demoted to Nanman as a poverty alleviation cadre.

But before long, he was recalled to Chang'an and wrote a poem:

"Visiting xuandu Temple"

The red dust of Purple Street brushed his face, and no one didn't see the flowers.

The peach trees in the xuandu temple are all planted by Liu Lang after he went.

To interpret it in today's words is to satirize the upstarts of the imperial court while proudly shouting "brother is back again!"

As a result, Wu Yuanheng, the prime minister at that time, was annoyed, and his ass was demoted before he returned to the city.

When the new emperor succeeded to the throne, Tang Wenzong recalled him to Chang'an again.

However, Liu Yuxi wrote another poem announcing his "return of the king":

"Revisiting the xuandu Temple"

Half of the hundred mu courtyard is covered with moss, with peach blossoms and vegetables in full bloom.

Where is the Taoist who planted peach? Liu Lang came here again.

He also made a preface to the poem, in which there is a sentence "in order to swim later."

The main idea is that I'll write one in advance and use it directly when I'm demoted next time.

Liu Yuxi's arrogant attitude once again angered the ministers in the court.

So he was expelled from the capital to Suzhou and never returned to Chang'an again.

Think of a popular saying on the Internet: "the sign of a person's maturity is to shut up."

A wise man knows what to say and what not to say.

Before you open your mouth, you might as well go over what you want to say in your mind and open your mouth again.

You know, your luck is hidden in what you say.

When we learn to stop language, know how to speak less and avoid misfortunes from the mouth, life will be less trouble.

02

Stop desire

Thai writer cha gaojidi said: "once a man becomes a slave of desire, he will never be free."

There are so many temptations in life. Few people can be indifferent in the face of human desires.

There is a story in Shangdao.

After Lin shangwo became the richest man in North Korea, his former friend Li Xi recommended the housekeeper Hong Jinglai to him.

However, on the surface, Hong Jinglai is a "housekeeper". In fact, he came to win Lin shangwo into the uprising.

At that time, the social status of farmers and businessmen was very low. Although Lin shangwo had huge wealth, as a businessman, he was not valued by the imperial court.

Therefore, in the face of this invitation, he did not waver:

Or promise Hong Jinglai to help the rebel group, and once the uprising is successful, he will become famous;

Or refuse to join, then there is no hope of participating in politics, which is tantamount to giving up the opportunity to gain power.

When he was in a dilemma, he remembered the note left by master Shi Chong. When he opened it, it was a "Ding".

Lin shangwo finally realized the truth:

Ding represents people's three desires: money, reputation and status. There is nothing wrong with pursuing reputation and status and collecting money. However, if a person's desire is difficult to fill, driven by desire, the person with wealth excessively pursues reputation and power, and destroys the tripod balance, it will inevitably lead to tripod turnover.

After figuring it out, Lin shangwo cut off the tripod and showed Hong Jinglai that he had no intention to pursue rights.

Five months later, the uprising led by Hong Jinglai ended in failure, and all the rebels were executed.

Lin shangwo Qingxing said, "fortunately, we have controlled our desire in time, otherwise the consequences will be unimaginable."

Inamori Kazuo once said:

"In fact, desire itself is not evil. It is evil to do whatever you want by virtue of uncontrolled desire."

It's normal for people to have desire, but don't be kidnapped by desire.

Those with high EQ know to give up and put down excessive desires.

03

Stop

The ancients said that the heart is afraid and the line is stopped.

It's easy to go straight, but it's difficult to stop.

In his later years, Qi Baishi became famous and often met rich people who came to buy paintings.

Old Qi refused, did not draw, did not sell.

Some people say he is "stupid", which is clearly a good opportunity to make money.

However, he insisted that he did not cater to the trend, nor was he shoddy, and even posted an advertisement:

"Those who don't do painting: they don't draw images, they don't draw fine works, they don't paint colors, they don't draw non people, they don't force them to draw. Those who don't do engraving: they don't engrave crystals, jade, teeth and bones, they don't engrave the common Indian language, and they don't engrave those who don't apply to printing..."

An overseas dignitary admired Qi Baishi very much.

He not only bought his paintings at a high price, but also tried to win him over, but Qi Baishi always politely refused.

After the other party came to the door again and again, Qi Baishi simply pasted a banner of "painting is not for sale with officials" on the door in order to refuse to see customers.

Mr. Qi maintained his integrity with his principles.

Wang Tong, a great Confucian in the Sui Dynasty, has a famous saying: "great wisdom knows only, small wisdom only plans."

Only when you know where you should stop and what you should not give in, can you keep your original heart and go steady and far.

The best attitude to life is to do what you do and stop when you stop.

No matter how much pressure from the outside world, we should adhere to our own principles.

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In practice over the years, we must understand that those who are satisfied are happy and those who know the end are rewarded.

As the saying goes: what makes you strong is not persistence, but letting go.

Point a praise. For the rest of your life, I hope you can master the three keys to open your EQ: stop talking, stop desire and stop doing.