Everyone has to go through such a journey from being ignorant of the world when young to experiencing vicissitudes when mature.

One day, we will understand that there is no one in the world who is not hurt, only a heart that is constantly healing.

What we need to do is to learn to grow in pain, find these three keys, and be our best therapist.

one

The first key is self-knowledge

The so-called self-knowledge is to know oneself and know one's ability.

When many people are suffering, they often feel that they are unfortunate and have been unfairly treated by fate.

However, the truth is that nothing happens for no reason. It will happen to you. There must be a reason for it.

Who you are, your cognitive level, your emotional processing methods, and coping strategies when things go wrong, all kinds of factors will determine the direction of things.

As the saying goes, you should know yourself.

With this self-awareness, you will not arbitrarily look up at yourself, nor easily belittle yourself; You will know what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are; You will have the courage to pursue goals and the courage to bear consequences.

In other words, for all the experiences in life, you can choose to treat them as objects, and you are the eternal protagonist.

You are you. Even if you fail and get hurt, you are still you. Your value will not change because of this.

This is not only the responsibility of adults for themselves, but also the premise of reconciliation with themselves.

To maintain "self-awareness", to be specific, is to understand that everything has a cause and effect.

Your life is made for you. Everything you encounter comes from you.

When you see your cause, you will be relieved of the result.

two

The second key is self negotiation

Everyone has the habit of trying to persuade others, but it often ends up making you feel frustrated.

If you can change your perspective and use your time and energy to convince yourself, I believe you will have a different perception.

There is a concept in psychology called "reconstructive cognition", which means that we should learn to open a new perspective for ourselves and a new mode of understanding the world on the basis of inherent cognition.

If we understand that there can be another explanation framework beyond the current cognitive model, we will not fall into a certain obsession,

It can reconstruct different views on the same thing, break the obsession, and find a new way to solve the problem.

This process is self negotiation.

It is he who gives himself confidence and ways to help himself open up a path of self acceptance in the contradiction between ideal and reality.

There is a saying that goes very well: life is to constantly convince yourself and then accompany yourself well.

No matter what kind of pain you have experienced, if you want it to become the past, you must accept it from the bottom of your heart.

So, don't always focus on asking why, think more about how to persuade yourself to face it.

If you make yourself understood, there will not be so much entanglement and pain.

Sometimes life is hard to avoid seeing the light, but we can turn ourselves into that light to illuminate ourselves. As long as you are willing, nothing can keep you where you are.

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The third key is self-discipline

To heal the pain means to accept and reflect on the problem, but also know how to change.

And this is also a very important step.

The reason is that only by making yourself really better, can you not repeat the mistakes of the past, and can you meet better people and live a higher level of life.

Of course, all changes must be implemented in specific actions.

Self discipline is the only way to achieve change.

Self discipline is essentially the regulation and control of self. With the power of self salvation, it can drag you forward, keep away from negative energy, and take action to resolve the pain.

In fact, it is difficult for those who are suffering to make major changes, but this does not prevent us from trying some small changes.

For example, stick to reading for an hour before going to bed every night, stick to practicing a sport every day, or even just stick to cooking a good meal for yourself every day.

Don't underestimate these small changes. Once the action starts, you have started a new behavior mode. As long as you can stick to it for a period of time, the accumulation brought by self-discipline will eventually bring you a magnificent transformation.

I like Camus's famous saying: I don't expect life to go smoothly, but I hope I can be its rival when life gets tough.

At any time, a positive attitude and self-discipline and efficient action are the best antidote to cure yourself.

All things have cracks. That's where the light comes in.

Although fate is always unpredictable, if we can see all kinds of joys, sorrows and joys as part of our life experience, we will find that pain and suffering have their own meanings.

In this world, no one knows you better than you, and only you can really heal yourself.

Keep these three keys in mind. Know yourself first, negotiate with yourself later, and discipline yourself.

In the stormy life, live bravely and firmly, live truly and fearlessly.

When you become strong, all the wounds you have suffered will become medals for growth.